Notes on the creative process

I have been jonseing to get some songwriting time since I returned from the Crooked Crow retreat last night. It amazes me how busy my days are, even though I don't have a 9-5 job! This evening after House Wine's open mic night (which has become my weekly open mic), I finally got some time to work on a song. It was fun and painless to create, and I think it has just the right edge and quirk and heartwarming nostalgia to make it enjoyable by people other than myself (yay!) It is called "Tombstones and Trains" and I'll try to record it tomorrow and post it on soundcloud for your listening pleasure.

Songwriting is like birth....it is a slow and laborious process, painful at times. Sometimes the gestation period is longer or shorter than anticipated. Sometimes you have to perform surgery to save the newborn song so that it can survive in this harsh world. And other times you are hit by a tidal wave of creativity- orgasmic birth! Tonight was definitely orgasmic birth songwriting, and I'm so grateful!

So here I sit. I can't believe I'm writing this, so I am going to use caps lock so maybe I really see and hear and believe it: I AM A WRITER. I play with words. I notice words. I can't help but read words out loud when I see them. For too long I have told myself that I am not enough. I have waited hopeless for inspiration from above, for a strike of inspiration. I gave up hope for years, believing that I lost my muse with my god. Now I see that god is in everything, I only have to open my eyes and believe.

Months ago I wrote on a sign of affirmations "play is the answer-" which seemed to somehow fit my personality, spirit, and soul. Now I find myself in space where the work I am doing is play- how lucky am I! I do not know where my word play will take me. Right now it has me dissecting everything and keeping my favorite words and lines close to me, arranging them in new ways and seeing what I can craft. This isn't magic, but rather openness, intuition, and willingness to be true to myself and shine, and allow everything else to be what it is.

Good night!